It’s the size that counts–of skirt, that is

I want to talk about what women “of a certain age” are allowed to wear.

Magazines are rife with pictorials on how women in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s can wear today’s fashions. Apparently, something terrible happens when you dress outside of your decade. However, some magazines say your 30s are when you can wear sheer and sexy, while others are all “ew” and leave the sheer sexiness to the girls in their 20s. After all, who wants to see a 30 year old naked? Or worse, a 40 year old?

Because who wants to look at gross 40 year old women, right? We want to look at this:

HM 1

Hot, right?

Curvy, toned, lovely? Does it surprise you to know that this extremely delicious woman is none other than Helen Mirren? The 68 year old Helen Mirren?


There are a number of starlets much younger than Helen Mirren who destroyed themselves with hard living and unnecessary plastic surgery. I don’t want to see those starlets showing their skin. I want Helen Mirren in a miniskirt, as well as any woman who likes how she looks in a miniskirt, to wear them. I do not want those women to be shamed by editors and writers accusing them of “dressing too young” (WTF does that even mean?); in fact, miniskirters, hike them higher and strut. Confidence is sexy, not necessarily the age of the woman.

Why are skirt lengths, colours, and other fashion options determined by age? Who determines this, and why? Who can tell me that women become less sexy as they get older, thereby necessitating a movement towards “sophistication and maturity.” In other words, cover your sh*t up. How demoralizing.


Women tend to grow into themselves around 40 once the flimsy hubris of youth fades. We adapt to our scars and circumstances. We understand that our body parts transcend the sexual usefulness into identity and health. We have grown stronger, or have broken entirely, but we should reserve the right to show our scars and hard-earned life thus far.

I might not be looking to procreate anymore, but at 40, I should have the option to wear whatever it is I feel confident in. Someone get me Wonder Woman’s Bustier.


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